Memories

May 26, 2025

With time, our memories start jumbling up, tangling, getting fuzzy.

I feel like I lived a lifetime from 15 to 20, then from 40 to 45 it was a blink. Some people say it’s the percentage of your life those years represent. I don’t think it works like that. I think i’ts a problem of us not being mindful of the things we live.

When you drive from work to home, you barely register what happened. If right after you arrive you try to remember what whas happenning in a certain block or street, most likely you won’t be able to recall it. That dynamic starts slowly happening with everything we live, especially in the cotidianity.

A few years ago, looking into this, I found this video from Johnny Harris. It made a lot of sense. He asks “what’s the most important thing that happened to you in April 2011?”

Right? Impossible to know.

This subject is very important to him too and he suggests a photo practice that helps being more mindful of the things we live. I won’t bother you with details, but it’s about constantly revisiting and curate out photos and videos from past days.

For instance, I just revisited my phone photos from this last weekend (a trip to the beach being the most important memory) and reduced 100+ photos and videos down to a few (probably less than 10). These photos are now my tangible memory of this weekend, and the process of revisiting and curate the whole thing consolidates the day into my memory, very much like telling or writting down your dreams right after waking up makes them permanent.

Feeling the feels (and not running away)

Apr 24, 2025

I’ve been thinking a lot about emotional management, particularly after a challenging year of depression and anxiety. I’ve lived with both for most of my life, but it wasn’t until recently that I was formally diagnosed. About a year ago, I hit rock bottom. Since then, it’s been a slow but steady climb, thanks to therapy, medication, and a lot of introspective work.

One of the main things I’ve learned over the past few months is how to accept, feel, and process my emotions when I’m feeling down, instead of running away from them or distracting myself from the discomfort.

My first instinct is, obviously, to look for immediate relief. This often comes from easy distractions: social media, TV, drinking, sex. But being mindful of my thoughts and sensations has proven to be far more helpful. As soon as I accept that I’m uncomfortable and that those sensations won’t magically disappear, I start to feel calmer. I take inventory of what I’m feeling and consider the possible causes.

Don’t get me wrong: the uneasiness doesn’t just vanish. But taking the wheel and aknowledging the feelings and sensation makes a world of difference. Now I’m in control, and I usually have several ways to steer things in a better direction. It’s like taking a mess of irrational, jumbled thoughts and emotions, putting them in order, and turning them into something rational and manageable.

That alone, given how my mind works, brings me a sense of peace. There’s also a quiet sense of accomplishment in not escaping those feelings through artificial means.

This approach, at least for me, resonates deeply with the concept of delayed gratification. It also reminds me of the recent emphasis on the value of boredom. Boredom makes space for self-reflection, and in this age, with smartphones, computers and screens filling every single moment with work, entertainment, or distraction, that space is hard to come by. But it’s essential if we want to get better and grow.