Designer, Software Enginer and artsy dude. Neurospicy. Dad of two. Extremely anxious. Writing gives me peace.
I’m working on this site live, learning how to modify/create themes for micro.blog, so it’s going to be from slightly to really messed up for a while. Sorry for the inconvenience.
I’ve been thinking a lot about emotional management, particularly after a challenging year of depression and anxiety. I’ve lived with both for most of my life, but it wasn’t until recently that I was formally diagnosed. About a year ago, I hit rock bottom. Since then, it’s been a slow but steady climb, thanks to therapy, medication, and a lot of introspective work.
One of the main things I’ve learned over the past few months is how to accept, feel, and process my emotions when I’m feeling down, instead of running away from them or distracting myself from the discomfort.
My first instinct is, obviously, to look for immediate relief. This often comes from easy distractions: social media, TV, drinking, sex. But being mindful of my thoughts and sensations has proven to be far more helpful. As soon as I accept that I’m uncomfortable and that those sensations won’t magically disappear, I start to feel calmer. I take inventory of what I’m feeling and consider the possible causes.
Don’t get me wrong: the uneasiness doesn’t just vanish. But taking the wheel and aknowledging the feelings and sensation makes a world of difference. Now I’m in control, and I usually have several ways to steer things in a better direction. It’s like taking a mess of irrational, jumbled thoughts and emotions, putting them in order, and turning them into something rational and manageable.
That alone, given how my mind works, brings me a sense of peace. There’s also a quiet sense of accomplishment in not escaping those feelings through artificial means.
This approach, at least for me, resonates deeply with the concept of delayed gratification. It also reminds me of the recent emphasis on the value of boredom. Boredom makes space for self-reflection, and in this hyperconnected age, with smartphones, computers and screens filling every single moment with work, entertainment, or distraction, that space is hard to come by. But it’s essential if we want to grow.
I have a few domains that, while not entirely unused, are essentially abandoned websites. Now that I’m reviving this blog, I feel the urge to do the same with at least some of them:
HTMLyCSS
A blog about HTML and CSS techniques and snippets. This is one of my most passionate subjects, but I really didn’t had the time to maintain the style of posts. Maybe I should just simplify it.
The Headphonist
Originally a Medium collection about songs, then a website, then a newsletter, now just… nothing.
Noice.mx
Pending website about the podcasts I produce / plan to produce.
Also, I have axelvaldez.mx, axelvaldez.com (which I lost for 12-13 years to domain scalpers), and axel.mx, this very domain.
Time flies when you’re having fun*.
* Frantically googling and trying code, balancing frustration with small doses of dopamine when things work out. 😅
When it comes to beats, well, I’m a fiend; I like my sugar with coffee and cream.
Messing with code again for my micro.blog theme has given my mood a boost. I love this and I really missed it.
I’m a big rewatcher. I treat movies and TV series as music. Sometimes I watch them to bring me into certain mood or to ride on a feeling. Just like music.
Jumping again into the micro.blog thing. I’m bored and I need to write, and I’m not in the mood to create everything from scratch like I usually try to do—and stop mid-way. Also, federation is kinda cool—and messy, but I’m learning to love messy.
