Being depressed sucks. Most people think of it as being extremely sad, but at least in my case that's not it. Right now I feel nothing. As in, I should be sad, maybe? But I just can't. There's just this sensation of heaviness that tells me that I should be feeling something, but I don't. I'm just... here.
That thing, when combined with ADHD makes for a weird cocktail. I'm inattentive, and with that comes impaired motivation. I can do things when there's interest, urgency, challenge or novelty. Right now I'm extremely stressed, and while my depression makes me not want to do anything, my stress-ridden brain jump-starts me into action because of the urgency. I end up being a weird robot doing things without the slightest motivation, but doing them nonetheless.
Feb 16, 2026
It is ridiculous to watch a season of a TV series and then having to wait 2-3 years for a new season. Something has to change, and I think it will as soon as someone figure it out and the rest have to follow through or lose audience.
Jan 05, 2026
The magnetic particles in a mixtape hold much more than just music. Baked into the tape is also the person’s intention. They’re in their room, hovering over the pause button wondering if you’ll catch the meaning behind that lyric they chose. Hoping you feel what they felt when they first heard that guitar solo. Each moment on the tape is a moment spent thinking about you.
From Digging the Greats: Mixtape series
Dec 16, 2025
Some days my brain jumps from one place to the other constantly. It's difficult to get anything done. And I think it's both the feeling itself, and not getting things done that make my anxiety spike.
Dec 15, 2025
This blog is built on 11ty, and I use Decap CMS to update it (editing code directly gets old reeeeal quick). I don't love image management...
Dec 12, 2025
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I’m a huge nerd for notes. A long time ago, I learned not to trust my memory, so everything that comes to mind and needs to be remembered...
Dec 12, 2025
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I've been vibe coding again, but this time I took a different approach. I focused on stuff whose workings I already understand. It was a...
Dec 12, 2025
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I gave vibecoding a second chance this week, this time sticking to technologies I'm familiar with. Instead of trying to make an iOS app (a completely unfamiliar territory for me) I made some web apps for very specific needs of my own. It was like night and day. A few hours here and there over the week, and now I have two really really useful web apps that I'm sure I will use every day.
I'll make a proper post as soon as I can get to it, but I wanted to save this note as a reminder that this stuff can be good.
Dec 11, 2025
I never did drugs in my youth because I was too afraid, but I always had this curiosity of how it would feel to be high. I imagined pure...
Nov 27, 2025
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I love headphones. I love them because music has always been my safe place and headphones were my way to carry that with me in public,...
Nov 25, 2025
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